Why does every scandal end in gate? Why do we a scandal that happened 40 years ago stifle our creativity in coming up with awesome names for scandals. Like for instance the Tiger Woods scandal; the first title I saw for this was clearly… Tiger Gate. This to me, is absolutely mind boggling. Why gate?! Did he fuck a gate too? Was one of the mistresses a gate/door salesmen, did it happen at the Watergate? No, but the first one is the most feasible solution to this retarded gate bullshit. Why not something clever that actually addresses what has happened or what the public thinks happened to the person or people in question. How about “Crouching Tiger Hidden Penis”? That at least says something about Tiger woods and the fact that he banged a chili waitress.
But why stop there, remember Spygate? Have we really lost all sense of creativity that we can’t even come up with something that to make fun of the Patriots and there statue faced leader Billy Belichick. There were a myriad of options for this one. Patriot Games, the Tom Brady Crown Affair, Brady’s 11, The Spy Who Cheated on Me. Jesus Christ, I’m a moron and I just came up with four that didn’t involve gate.
This is a call to all of you in the media, especially the sports media. The next time someone slips up and say…. Is caught on the 405 with underwear on screaming that he is a Jedi just after he leaves a brothel, don’t just settle for Gate. You are all better than just gate. Gate is for pussies.
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