Eye Opener

Happy Fucking Earth Day.  On this day we celebrate our planet, but don't get all awkward about it.  I don't need to plant a tree or appreciate a fern to know that our planet is mostly awesome. And Earth, are you that insecure that you need a full day where everyone kisses your ass? Jesus Earth you are worse than the girl at the office who wears the "It's my Birthday" button so everyone can ask, "Oh hey, It's your birthday?" and you can pretend to be coy and say "Oh yeah, didn't want to make a big deal about it." Fuck that.  No one willingly remembers this holiday. I didn't wake up today and go "Oh Wow, it's earth day. It's like Green Christmas." Do you know who wakes up and KNOWS that it's fucking Earth Day? These People...

So yeah, Earth. Is this who you want to be associated with? Maybe rethink this whole Earth Day thing. And take off the fucking button, you're embarrassing yourself.